We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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