Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
