I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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