Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
my liver is dry heaving
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
