do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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