getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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