She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
