I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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