Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
