sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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