i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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