There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
