Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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