If that was your dad, he is hot
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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