He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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