we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
