Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
