How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
