it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
