dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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