can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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