girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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