BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
