Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
