You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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