We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
