You work out of a Hotel?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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