I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
