: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize