After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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