I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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