She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
