It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
