you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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