I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
