We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Even my vagina gasped.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
