Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize