i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My vagina is officially offended.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
