I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
