I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
