I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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