She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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