This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
