no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
