like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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