it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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