I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
sick fucks of a feather flock together
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
