The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
