I want to have your abortion
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
