Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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