Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
