She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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