Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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