Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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