You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
