Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's the barista slut.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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