Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
