They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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