I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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