He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
