Got a toothbrush?
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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