so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
