"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
