Quick, to the slutcave!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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