I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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