Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Come back. Shots need mouths.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
