He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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