sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize