my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
