I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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