4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
