it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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