You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
