He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
is it fun? or sober?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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