Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
