Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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