I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
